Chapter 6

"A mistake…"

Those two words kept on repeating in my mind over and over again..

I stood up without saying a word. What am I supposed to say? I was speechless.

I went into the next room wanting to call my driver so he could pick me up. Bs 3rft enah by6wl, o I couldn't wait anymore! I wanted to leave ASAP!
So I decided to call Samar, since she lived 5 mins away.

When I was still with Khalid, I would come over to Samar’s house, stay for an hour , and then spend the rest of the day with Khalid. Samar was such a sweetheart; she never said anything to me. She knew how much I loved Khalid.

Calling Samoora……

Samar: aloo (I woke her up)

Me: Samar I need u to pick me up now..

Samar: Mimii I’m asleep!

Me: Samar AL7EEN! Come pick me up from Khalid’s house.

Samar: WHAT?! Bait Khalid!! al7eeen byeech!

I felt like crying. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know what to say. Should I go and talk to him. Should I scream and fight with him. Or should I fall into his arms begging him to take me back and be his girl once again.

Even though I was falling apart, I decided to stay strong and not cry.

8 mins later I got a text from Samar saying: “I’m out, 6l3ay NOW!”

I got all of my stuff andd 6l3t mn el ‘3rfah. I was hoping he would be sitting there so I can say goodbye. But he had already left. His car wasn’t there too.

I got into Samar’s car, without allowing her to say anything I said

Me: emshayyy bsr3aaaa!

Samar knew ena feeni shy o chaft 3yooni etdm3, so she stayed quiet and drove away..

Me: drive, don’t take me baitkm wla baitna. Bs drive..

5 mins later I bursted out crying! I couldn’t hold it in anymore. Samar stopped the car and turned to me. She started hugging me ,asking me to stop crying, while she was crying too. She could see how muching I was hurting, and Samar 6b3ha etkoon wayed 7sasa o she cries about everything.

After ma hda2t shwy I explained everything that happened to her. From the text, till the moment he kicked me out. Then we both started crying again.

After an hour of poring my heart out to Samar.. She finally asked me THE question. The question that non of the girls were brave enough to ask. They knew that if I wanted to tell them, I would have..

Samar: Maryam..

Me (wna ams7 my tears): n3m?

Samar: u never told us this, bs why did he breakup with u?

I got nervous, my heart was beating faster, I didn’t know what to say, I didn’t know what to do…

I looked away and said

Me: it was complicated, it didn’t work out..

Samar: bs Maryam, etha hathy eli 9ar, laish 7altich chthy? Look at yourself! U lost so much weight! Mat6l3een, matkleen, mat’97keen!!! Etha it just didn’t work out..  laish g3d ey9eer feech chthyy?

twtrt akthar, 9rt 7arana, ma3rft shagool. I did lose weight, I don’t go out or laugh anymore. What am I suppose to tell her?

Me: I just love him Samora. That’s it. I loved him so much. I just don’t know how to move on..

7sait enha ma9dgtni, 3rft ena I said that 3shan askt’ha, bs it worked.. la2nha sktat..

tmaina ndoor fl sayara until 6 p.m. Samar asked me to sleep over l2na she knew law rij3t el bait brou7i ill never stop crying.. 

5thna dinner from mac, and we went back to Samar's house.. 

Samar: Mimii.. agoolich shay bs matz3leen?

Me: sure...

Samar: Adrii mo wagtii.. bs mo zain eli tsweena fe rou7ich. ur still young wl 6reej jidmich!! 

Me: No...

Samar: No??

I didnt know what to say... agool lha magdr aw9el min '3ayer Khalid?

Me: Samar... I dont think min 3gb Khalid bgdr a7ib a7ad.. 

Samar: bs noora told me about Fahad....

Me: Fahad???

Samar: yeah, the guy with the black shirt! 

Me: yeah? what about him?

Samar: Mimii.. etha enty t7seen ena sh3oorich fee mineh amal yt7rk 7g '3ayer Khalid laish rj3teelah?

Me: Samoorr shfeech mo g3da tfhmeeni?? ma baini o bain Fahad shay! ehwa wa7id chifnah fl m63am wl silam! t'3arneena eb Khalid?!? 

Samar: afhmich 7bibty.. bs enty o Khalid hathak el yoom kinto nahyeen el mw'9oo3, shino eli rj3kum lah?

Me: he needed me.. 

Samar: why?

Me: TO TELL ME IT'S OVER!  I DON'T KNOW SAMAR DONT ASK ME.. I DONT KNOW WHAT AM I DOING, I DON'T KNOW WHATS HAPPENING. PLEASE JUST PLEASEE STOP ASKING ME QUESTIONS! 

Ma kent abee a6li3 7rty 3ala Samar I love her so much bs magdrt aywed rou7i.. 

Samar: I'm so sorryyy 7bibtyy Maryooom.. walla makan 89dii u I know I love you o bs abee m9l7tich.. bs abeech tihdain o tnsain Khalid o tfkreen eb kalami.. abeech tfkreen feeh eb 3al8ich mo eb glbich.. ok?

Me: okayy..

We stayed up late.. Samar kanat tsolif 3an ayam el madrisa o t7wil tnseeni eli ana feeh.. bs shloon ansa?

Around 2 a.m. gelna binam.. Samar did bs I didn't.. 

fkrt eb kalam Samar, this time fakrt eb 3a8ly nafis ma galat.. 

bs law kil shay 9ij ent'hah m3a Khalid shloon balagii '3airah?? shloon bansa eli 9ar?  

7awlt I answer the questions bs mgdrt.. shway ela asm3 athan el fajir.. tw'92t o 9alait o d3ait eni at'3yer lil27sn o a79el el a7sn o ansa Khalid 3ashan a9eer... a7sn!

I'm starting over.....